Hope, half-truths and hype: Hotel reviewers tried and tested
Online travel reviews hold great power of persuasion. In fact, reading up on the candid experiences of our fellow globetrotters can make or break our decision to purchase a holiday – at the least, it might cause us to cross that particular hotel off our list. We’re all familiar with this, but nonetheless, with such a cluttered array of fluffy, frank and fantasy accounts, it’s sensible to take some reviewers (and their reviews) with a large pinch of salt.
In the spirit of parody, hospitality consultant Daniel Edward Craig labels the online reviewers to watch out for.
In the past I’ve written about online travel reviews from a hotelier’s perspective. This time I take off my hotelier’s hat to poke some fun at online reviews from a traveller’s perspective.
When planning trips, I always check out amateur reviews for a refreshing, grassroots alternative to the salesy propaganda on hotel websites. Yet as these sites grow in popularity the process has become increasingly time-consuming and confusing. The playing field is now so cluttered, the reviews so contradictory and polarised, it’s hard to know who to believe anymore.
And whereas the vast majority of reviews are benevolent and seemingly authentic, a few reviewer types have emerged whose advice should be taken with a healthy dose of skepticism.
The Self-Appointed Expert - This reviewer has posted scores of reviews, yet quite possibly has never left his computer room. An aspiring travel memoirist, he writes lengthy, flowery missives coloured with acid-tongued remarks like, “To call this a fleabag hotel would be an insult to fleas and bags everywhere.” Although he positions himself as a martyr to the travel community, he wouldn’t object if a hotel offered him a free stay in exchange for a glowing review.
The Patron Saint of Hotels - This reviewer is so over the top in her praise either she’s never had a vacation before or she’s been into the sacred wine. She rates all services as excellent, including those the hotel doesn’t offer, and uses exalted phrases like “A hidden gem!”, “Glorious!” and “I thought I’d died and gone to heaven!” Because she insists on seeing the good in everyone, she often finds herself making excuses on behalf of the hotel, such as, “My niece fell down the elevator shaft, but I’m sure they’ve got that fixed.”
The Up-trader - Having scoured the internet for deals until he scored a five-star hotel at a two-star rate, this bargain hunter now expects all other services to be equally discounted. He expresses moral outrage over charges for breakfast, telephone and the mini bar, accusing the hotel of gouging. His comments are revealing: “$28 for parking!?! That’s how much I usually pay for a room! Rip OFF!”
The Down-trader - This high-flying business traveller used to spend lavishly on luxury hotels until the economic crisis forced a drastic reduction in her expenses account. Now obliged to stay in budget properties, she lives in denial, complaining bitterly about the lack of a day spa, fur boutique and gourmet restaurant at her roadside motel.
The Uncle Bob - Like that dull relative who subjects you to endless vacation photos and anecdotes, this reviewer goes on and on but never manages to say anything helpful or interesting. “My room had a bed and a desk and a chair. Oh, and a painting of a landscape. Molly at the front desk—or was it Maggie? Well, whoever it was, gosh darn was she swell when we needed directions to the local IHOP…” Next!
The Extortionist - After a series of mishaps, all of which were his own fault, this traveller tried every trick in the book to weasel a complimentary stay from the hotel, and now resorts to posting a blistering online review. He rates everything as terrible, including things that were perfectly fine. His reviews read like ransom notes, with bad spelling and grammar, excess punctuation, and random capital letters: “This hotel S****D!! Roberto the Duty manger was LaiMe…!!!!!”
The Shill - This reviewer writes in a style that sounds suspiciously like the hotel’s promo material, with phrases only marketing people use, like “nestled in the heart of vibrant old-town” and “well-appointed furnishings with dreamy Celestial Comfort™ beds”. Her review contrasts sharply with the other, not-so-generous reviews and is typically a one-off. Although she signs off with a cutesy pseudonym like “TravlinGrrrl”, she’s undoubtedly the hotel’s director of marketing.
The Forensic Examiner - This CSI enthusiast treats hotel rooms like a crime scene, posting reviews with gory photographic evidence of carpet stains, bathroom mould and bedbug bites. Even when his review is glowing, his photos make the room look cheap and squalid, particularly when personal items and family members are in the background.
The Corporate Saboteur - This reviewer is a hotel owner writing a nasty, bogus review of a competitor hotel in the hope of boosting his own property’s ratings. Telltale signs include anonymity and remarks like, “I finally checked outta that dump and went to the ABC HOTEL. Twenty bucks cheaper and free donuts! I’ll never stay anywhere else!”
As a rule I bypass extreme reviews—unless there are a lot, in which case I take heed. I also skip reviews with the word “lame”, the online word of choice for people with a chip on their shoulder. I find the hotel’s overall ranking to be helpful, but it doesn’t always tell the real story. Pull up your home city on TripAdvisor. Do you agree with the top five hotels? There’s always at least one that raises an eyebrow.
Recognising that not every reviewer has the interests of fellow travellers in mind, Expedia, Orbitz and Priceline restrict reviews to customers only, whereas anyone can post a review on TripAdvisor, Yelp, Yahoo and Travelocity. TripAdvisor has been known to post a warning to travellers if it questions the authenticity of reviews, but this practice has attracted a flurry of criticism in the blogosphere.
There’s no question, online reviews are a great resource, providing insight, humor and tried-and-true tips from the field. Yet travellers shouldn’t forget to consult the experts in print and online guidebooks, newspapers and magazines.
We can all help increase the reliability of reviews by posting our own after our trips. Just remember to stick to the facts, play fair, and go easy on the punctuation. And try not to get too personal. It might not always seem evident, but hotel managers have feelings too.
A hospitality consultant and the author of the Five-Star Mystery Series, Daniel Edward Craig has worked for a variety of upscale hotels. He is the former vice president and general manager of Opus Hotels in Vancouver and Montreal and is the company's current blogger-at-large.
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